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Never Have I Ever:

1. Cried over a book

Yes. But I cry in every movie and at the drop of a hat, so that's not a high bar. I will say that my copy of A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett) has crinkly pages because I cried all over it when I read it the first time.

2. Laughed out loud while reading

Yes. Again, all the time. Including in public. I'm hopeless.

3. Re-read a book more than four times

Yes. But only one. I'm currently re-reading Harry Potter (J. K. Rowling) for the fifth time. I think I've read Good Omens (Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman) and Belgarath the Sorcerer (David and Leigh Eddings) three times each, which would be the next most read.

4. Purchased multiple copies of a book

Yes. Both by accident and on purpose. One book, not remembering I'd already bought it earlier that week, so I bought it again. And sometimes to give away copies of books I really like to other people. Also, I need to replace my old copy of Good Omens because it's a bit tattered now.

5. Thrown a book against the wall

No. Never. Squeezed a book too tight in anger, yes. And I once threw a terrible book in the bin. But not against any walls.

6. Dog-eared a book

Yes. But only a couple of times when I was younger. Before I discovered random receipts and wrappers lying next to me work just as well for bookmarks.

7. Torn pages out of a book

Never. That's horrifying to even think of!

8. Started a book but didn't finish

Yes. Got bored of Twilight (Stephanie Meyer) and wandered off. Tried reading Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) and Sophie's World (Jostein Gaarder) twice each now and have yet to finish them.

9. Spilled food on a book

No? Do crumbs count? I've never spilled anything messy on a book. Miraculous, really.

10. Read a book because my crush liked it

No. Not yet, at least, only because the situation hasn't come up. I would though, because I like to see what interests the people I like.

11. Failed to return a borrowed book

Yes. Foe (J. M. Coetzee). Because the library never marked me as having borrowed it, and they lost another book I had borrowed. So I had to pay a fine on the other book (that they lost), and decided to keep the one I had in a fit of pique.

12. Loaned a book to someone else and never got it back

Yes. The Well of Loneliness (Radclyffe Hall). Gave it to an ex-girlfriend to read, we broke up, and I never got it back.

13. Lost a book

No. Nothing comes to mind, at least.

14. Lost sleep over a book

Yes? I think I remember tossing and turning, thinking too much about a book, about what was going to happen next, once the sun rose and I could read again, but I can't remember which book it was.

15. Marked a book (highlighter, drawing, etc)

Yes. Discounting drawing in books as a young child, I used to underline (in pencil) passages I liked, and not just for school. Haven't done it in a while, but I certainly have in the past.

16. Pretended I liked a book I didn't

No. I don't see the point.

17. Lied about reading a book

Yes. But only for English class.

18. Judged a book by its cover

Yes? Only because if I'm in a bookshop, the cover is the first thing I see. If it doesn't grab me, I'm not going to look into the book more.

19. Fallen asleep while reading

Yes. A couple of times. And then I woke up because I dropped the book and it landed on my face.

20. Stayed up all night reading

Yes. A couple of times. "Only one more chapter," I said at 2am. Next time I looked up it was 5am, and not worth going to sleep anymore.

21. Judged someone based on their taste in books

No. I don't care what other people read, as long as they're enjoying themselves. Read what you like. Actually, I take that back: If it's L. Ron Hubbard I might judge you.

22. Hidden a book I was reading

Yes? I feel like I have, but I don't remember what it was... Probably a children's book on public transport, because people can be weirdly judgemental about that.

23. Been irritated with real life for interrupting my reading time

Yes. All the time. Can't life see I'm reading?

24. Forgotten to eat because I was too busy reading

Yes. On occasion. I'll get halfway through the afternoon and wonder why I'm so hungry. Oh, I forgot lunch, that's why!

25. Pulled out a book at a social gathering

Yes. But it was on my phone, so that was much more subtle.

26. Got into trouble in a library

No. Never. Getting locked in, in a library study room is the extent of my library adventures.

27. Celebrated a character's death

Yes. Who hasn't? Sometimes you're actively cheering against the villain, and it feels damn good when they get what's coming to them.

28. Avoided reading a book for a petty reason

No. I don't think so, at least. If I don't want to read a book, it's because I don't think it will interest me. I might be wrong about that, but I make my decisions based on whether or not I think I'd enjoy a book, or if I think it could teach me something.

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Summer Yewberry

December 2023

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